Saturday, March 23, 2013

Bizarro World critic says: "Compulsive Love am great"


Well it's my own fault - I took a peek at the first 30 seconds of the 4th episode of The Amazing Adventures of Ratface the Sex God (aka "Compulsive Love") today. I thought maybe I would see something that was actually romantic.

Here's what I saw instead (dialog is paraphrased):
(Ratface is in a lesbian bar. He sees an attractive lesbian. He approaches her.) 
     RATFACE 
Hi, I'm Ratface, the ugly little man who can have any woman he wants. 
     LESBIAN 
I'm a lesbian. 
     RATFACE 
You should give me a try anyway. 
(Next scene Ratface is gnawing on Lesbian's coochie.)
I didn't see anything after that since my lunch was hurled all over the laptop screen.

But I saw what I saw, and now I can't unsee it.

So apparently not only does Ratface have the power to get any woman he wants, including lesbians, but he now has super cunnilingus powers (thanks to all the practice he got when he prostituted himself in order to weasel out of paying a gambling debt)  that make all women his slave.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is being sold as "romance."

I know I've said that this is a male fantasy web series but now they're just getting offensive, suggesting that some ugly little man can waltz into a lesbian bar and get a lesbian by buying her a drink.

But also hysterically funny is the notion promoted here that women don't care where the cunnilingus is coming from as long as the tongue of the random individual has special cunnilingus skills.  Apparently the Compulsive Love DudeBros have never heard of something called "vibrators" which can deliver the needed mechanisms to produce an orgasm much more efficiently than any human tongue. The men who make this web series are so clueless about female sexual response that they believe that it's all about simple mechanics, and actual human emotions don't matter.

Although maybe it's not so much cluelessness as not giving a shit about what women want - the women in this series could be animated sex dolls, for all their personalities or chemistry with Ratface matters. And they're all cra-cra-crazy just like Ratface who is so crazy he gets to have sex with any woman he desires including lesbians.

But if you think of "Compulsive Love" as the Bizarro World version of romance, it all makes sense. As the Bizarro Code says:

Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World!

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