Tuesday, April 09, 2013

In which I lament the pitiful state of women's fashions

I knew my chances were poor when I stopped in at Bloomingdales to attempt to find something to wear to work tomorrow - this sudden summer weather caught me with a closet full of cold-weather apparel.

But it's so convenient, that store, right at the Lexington Avenue N/Q/R station.

But I discovered that this season, like so many other seasons, fashion designers have conspired to rob women of all dignity. Nothing but wild clashing stripes and polka-dots and flower patterns. And odd, ugly, asymmetrical cuts. And three-quarter sleeves. When will they STOP making women's clothing with three-quarter sleeves? You don't see men's clothing with three-quarter sleeves. Because three-quarter sleeves are IDIOTIC.

And what is with the fucking sequins? Half of all the women's dresses have sequins all over them.

It's clear that fashion designers have decreed that adult women will be dressing this season like goddam clowns.

I scoured that store for something to wear that didn't make me look like a bad acid trip, and found a dress similar to the one above, except the one I found was black and dark-gray stripes. But you know, something that gave me a shred of dignity. Well guess what that garment, made of $3 worth of fabric and $5 worth of off-shore sweat-shop labor sells for? Two hundred and thirty-eight dollars. And I almost bought it because I was willing to pay not to look like a clown. I would have paid a hundred dollars for this $8 garment. But I had to draw the line at $238.

I have a sewing machine. I might just start making all my own clothing.

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