Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Why are so many playwrights such idiots.

So many playwrights are idiots. Or have a reading comprehension problem. Either way, they shouldn't be a playwright.

NYCPlaywrights put out a call for monologues on the theme of "you put a spell on me" and it was explained in this way:
The theme: You put a spell on me.
The speaker of the monologue can be any age, gender, ethnicity, etc. but must address the theme of "you put a spell on me."
This can be approached in a variety of ways  - it could be in the romantic sense of "I'm so in love with you that you must have put a spell on me" or in the literal sense of "you used magical powers on me" - and this could be true in the world of the monologue, or the speaker could be delusional. Your choice, as long as it addresses the theme in a discernible way.
Is that so hard to understand? How many times do you have to use the words "YOU put a spell on ME" in order for it to sink in that the play has to be a monologue by somebody (ME) addressing the person who put the spell on the speaker (YOU)???

Out of the 21 submissions sent so far, I had to throw out all but 4. The ones I threw out included monologues about:

  • A spelling bee; 
  • You put a spell on your father;
  • She put a lesbian spell on me; 
  • A bizarre preacher's sermon; 
  • I think I either loved or pitied some guy;  
  • He put a spell on her, who is really me;
  • He put a spell on this woman I know;
  • I'll tell you a story about a guy, he'll put a spell on you;
  • I'm drunk and I'm attracted to you;
  • I rant to a group of people about men that I hate.
What the hell is wrong with these people?

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