Sunday, September 28, 2014

Black Tie Blog revisited

I like having an excuse to post
a photo of Jon Hamm.
I gave a shout-out to the Black Tie Blog almost two years ago, and shockingly for an androphile such as myself, have failed to mention it since.

This is remedied now.

It's refreshing that the men on the red carpet are scrutinized as much as the women, for once, although the guy is a little harsh. He gave Jon Hamm an exceptional rating for the 2014 Academy Awards,  but he put Jared Leto in the "debatable" category, saying: "Jared Leto’s Saint Laurent ivory jacket is fine . . . if you can get past the bright bow tie and cascading locks."

But the whole problem with men's formal wear is that it is so conservative. Not every guy should look exactly alike and it's hard to believe that the Black Tie guy would really hold it against Leto for his tie color and his hair length, considering that everything else is in order.  Women wear their hair every which way (can you imagine if women wore their hair as unimaginatively as men do?), I think it's refreshing that Leto doesn't wear his hair in the awful standard look that I like to call "the brown skullcap" - that hair style beloved of so many men (especially in the financial services) where they do the bare minimum with their hair - shaving their head would take too much time out of their busy schedules, and of course they can't have long hair because that too would require some effort (the kind of effort that virtually all women put into their hair as a matter of routine) so they have their barber just cut their hair as close to their head as possible every two weeks or so and that's all the effort they put into it. It's the next best thing to going bald and never having to think of their hair ever again.

The incredible lopsided aesthetic efforts of men vs. women is one of the core principles of patriarchy, which says that men should never have to put much effort into visually pleasing women, while a woman's entire worth is based on her appearance. This must stop. I would consider this Black Tie guy to be part of the solution except that he is so very conservative. He'd be happy if every guy at the Academy Awards looked exactly like Jon Hamm - which, if you're going to clone somebody, Hamm would be a good choice, but I think it's possible to have too much of a good thing, even Hamm. We need some Jared Leto's to add some spicy variety now and then.

Speaking of men in financial services, there is one guy who works on my floor, who looks like a younger, shorter Jon Hamm, but, I swear to god - even hotter. He wears his suits to perfection and even his (slightly long) brown skullcap doesn't ruin his appearance. This man is so freaking hot I can't even look at him for more than a second for fear it will somehow trigger an HR violation. I hope I never have to work on a project with him because when I am within twenty feet of this man I literally cannot think of anything else except his extreme hotness. He's married of course, with a couple of kids.

Sigh.

I really do envy the asexuals sometimes.

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